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Ask E. Jean: Should I Be Worried My Busy Career Is Costing Me a Love Life?

Work has never been so exciting, and I’m happy…but I have a bit of dating FOMO.

Dear E. Jean: I’m at a very exciting time in my life—the most exciting! I’m 25 and have just started my own business. Opportunities are pouring in. I’m driven! I’m inspired! I’m finally where I’ve always wanted to be, so this is a strange career question: I adore living alone, doing things my way—just for me, just as I like. But I worry I’ll miss out on meeting an intelligent and sexy man if I keep up this kind of pace. If I’m embracing my business plan and solitary homestead, will I miss out on love? —Eyes for All

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Eyes, My Eaglet: Come on. You’re just ridiculously modest. I’ve read about your little start-up. Stop wasting time writing me e-mails. Go! Plunge in up to your eyebrows! The fire in your gut is stronger than sex. A moment occurs at the nativity of a company—a long, fabulous flash, a magical Bang!—when everything aligns and all your ideas are working and all your energies come to a head, and this is the moment. Worry about the chaps later. Seize it!

And when things slow down—and things always slow down, because life is a teeter-totter—you’ll drop into days of hellish sluggishness with nothing to do but sit around sucking the Saran Wrap off your lunch. Which is good. Because this is when you’ll throw one of those posh, evil New York cocktail parties, so delightful for business and so divine for meeting men.

If I mention the up-down-up-down- up-down-up of life, it’s because I’m in awe of any lifestyle guru who can talk about “balance” without laughing herself sick. My advice to entrepreneurs, female and male, is to not obsess too much about work…or love. Obsession turns people into catatonic gimps. So always leave Sunday afternoons open.

This letter is from the E. Jean archive.

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